Got Satori?

Gack

2007-05-15T21:28:00.000-04:00

I just come back and there is a Google alert! Almost scared me away...

Oh well. Yes, I live. No cool pics or anything. Been busy working and, well, taking shitty pics that I wouldn't give away... let alone inflict upon my friends.

Though, I was visited by Grackles. They scare the crap out of me and, as far as I know, anyone else around. Swarms. It's scary. Maybe I will post some pics of them flying about and landing and pecking my garbage man's eyes out. You'd probably like that... perverts!

I thought I might be afraid in NJ... I thought I had become as forged steel... but no one mentioned Grackles! oi vey!

Omega Institute

2006-10-15T11:03:00.000-04:00

I didn't go into much detail about my "Way of the Shaman" workshop at the Omega Institute last weekend. It was absolutely amazing. The grounds were beautiful and serene.

There were wildflowers growing all over the place. As you walked about the campus, you would go from a rich, earthy smell, to a wonderful, sweet fragrance. The open fields smelled of lush grass, while the woods smelled of pine.

The food was all organic and nearly all vegetarian. They had only one non-vegetarian dish one night, and that was a pasta/tuna salad. I have been slowly changing my diet and cutting out meat... for now I only eat seafood and vegetables during the weekdays. It has been a bit of a struggle for me in changing my lifestyle... if the dishes were all prepared for me like they were here, it would be no problem. Some of their produce is grown on site in a wonderful garden all of it, from the butter to the main courses are made right there.

Early in the morning, after breakfast, I would head down to the lake and just look about. It was very peaceful there... listening to the water and watching the geese walk about the shore.

The workshop itself was amazing. There were over one-hundred people in attendence. The energy generated was tremendous. The walls trembled with the beat of our drums and our dancing shook the floor.

I caught some pictures of orbs in the room. Didn't catch too many elsewhere, but some others showed me pictures where they had captured orbs elsewhere. It did feel as if the spirits had attended us.

After returning home, I notice the difference. There is a distinct lack of spirit... but I still feel in touch, even if a bit removed.

I will definately return there, even if not for a workshop. There were so many interesting people to meet. So many things to discuss in the late hours over a cup of hot chocolate. Waking in the early morning to the crisp fall air just to meander about, being chirped at by chipmunks. I saw a great white dog that looked part wolf at first glance materialize from the fog. I turned to get my camera and when I looked back the dog was gone and, in its place, a woman in white was walking toward me... she smiled in passing.

It was all a bit magical...

A Year of Discovery

2006-10-08T16:26:00.000-04:00

Well.. for those of you who are still around to remember... this is the anniversary of the day that C_ left me to go to where she needed to be. I just returned from a shamanic retreat and realized what day it was. I drove by the Buddhist monastery, on my way home, that started my journey.

It has been an amazing year. It was due to the trauma of that breakup that I started a new path in life. That I had to reassemble the shattered shards of my soul and create the *me* that I always wanted... and not the one that I had allowed to come into being. The anniversary of the period that I had a spiritual awakening that entirely shifted my consciousness... how I perceive things... how I interact with the world.

I don't live life... I *am* life...

It's a wonderful thing.

I know what a soulmate is. A soulmate is not necessarily your *partner* that lives with you throughout your life... no, there are many soulmates... many souls you have come into contact with throughout your prior lives. Many you will come into contact with in this life. They teach, they nurture, they love and they challenge. You are entertwined in some way.

C_ was a soulmate... and is. She came and, when her work was done, she left... that kicked me into the place I *needed* to be... There can be beauty in tragedy.

So.. I know that, forever... for as many lives as I have... there is at least *one* soul out there that, when I need them the most, will come into my life and make sure I am following the path I need to follow.

In fact, I am sure there are many.

So... to all of you out there and, especially to C_... thanks for remembering me, even through the vast divisions of time and space you have done what I needed... even if it wasn't what I thought I wanted.

And for that, I am ever thankful.

Best wishes to you all.

I have an amazing talent...

2006-09-19T19:26:00.000-04:00

... in the aftermath of relationships, I leave a wide swathe of destruction in my wake...

It's a gift I suppose... go figure. Wouldn't have known had there not been someone to point it out to me...

I always wished I had a cool superpower... I guess this is it...

So.. if you *really* are pissed at some chick.. and you want to make her so angry she could explode... just introduce her to me...

Oh yeah... I work on commission... so spread the word...

Back in New Jersey

2006-09-07T17:48:00.000-04:00

Well, Colorado was beautiful. Denver rocks! I spent a lot of time just enjoying the great outdoors. What a change from here. It has, however, made me think of actually doing a bit more local exploring. I have a lot of mundane, touristy pictures.. nothing of great quality... especially since there was dust on my camera sensor, anything with sky in it looks like there are great, black dots all over. But, they are good for the memories.

Sorry to lead you on...

2006-08-26T09:42:00.000-04:00

... but, I didn't feel like getting drunk after all, so I didn't have anything really stupid to say. Well... beyond normal stupid stuff ;)

It's raining today. I had hoped to take my bike out, so I am a little annoyed. I had also been pretty stoked to do some other things but, for some reason, I'm feeling a bit melancholy. I can't quite put my finger on it.

Next week I am going to Colorado for four days. I'm really stoked about that. I've wanted to go there for a very long time and see the rockies. I have been running through my head how to pack.. carry-on only or checking bags... if I go carry-on only, I will need to buy hair gel when I get there... because you can't take hair gel on a plane since you might glue the passengers together and take over the flight.

If I check my baggage, then I probably add another two hours to my trip while I wait at the baggage return. Also, I still have the very real possibility of needing to purchase hair gel anyway if the flight loses my bags.

Hmm... decisions...

Ha HA!

2006-08-25T20:21:00.000-04:00

I am back! I am so happy I will get drunk now... so I won't be posting anything tonight beyond drivel...

But, since you are used to drivel from me, and you haven't had it for over a month.. be happy... rejoice in my drivel...

*Muah*

Comcast

2006-08-14T18:23:00.000-04:00

I have been without cable at home since 7/18. When I have more than a few minutes of random connectivity, I will be sure to get on and post about it. In the meantime, my next appointment isn't until 8/23. Hope you are all doing well :)

A True Story Of Courage And Love

2006-07-12T19:10:00.000-04:00

I read this story on the Internet. I thought I would share it with you.

Walking down a path through some woods in Georgia in 1977, I saw a water puddle ahead on the path. I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn't covered by water and mud. As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked!

Yet I did nothing for the attack was so unpredictable and from a source so totally unexpected. I was startled as well as unhurt, despite having been struck four or five times already. I backed up a foot and my attacker stopped attacking me. Instead of attacking more, he hovered in the air on graceful butterfly wings in front of me. Had I been hurt I wouldn't have found it amusing, but I was unhurt, it was funny, and I was laughing. After all, I was being attacked by a butterfly!

Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again. He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail. For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack.

Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn't sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time. After all, it's just not everyday that one is attacked by a butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That's when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier.

He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed. Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate's sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her.

Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate's safety justified it. I couldn't do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed. I left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car.

Since then, I've always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly's courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.

(David L. Kuzminski)

I gave in...

2006-06-26T17:51:00.000-04:00

... and bought an iPod. I was trying to wait until Microsoft came out with something. I mean, I really did... but I doubt they will come out with anything halfway decent until they have driven all competitors out of the market. So, I figure I should be good with my purchase for a couple of years at least.

It's really amazing having my entire CD colection on such a little tiny thing. I have an FM cradle in my truck and I just plug it in and instantly I can listen to any CD I own... and... umm... a couple I don't.

I'll also be able to put some of my picture son it so I can carry them around. I have replaced lugging around 200 odd CDs and a portfolio. I can even put a few of my rare, yet precious videos on it.

I bought it at Circuit City. I won't be going back there again. The people are absolute idiots. I had to wait 20 minutes, even though I knew exactly what I wanted and where it was, just because it was in a case that needed a special key to be unlocked and there were luddites there coming out of their shell and computer shopping and needing everything from the keyboard on up explained to them in excrutiating detail.

The one cool thing about Circuit City though is that when you walk in they have a camera that projects your entry on a giant screen television right in the middle of the store. The image was so large and clear that I was able to identify and fix my open zipper. Thank you for saving me from that embarrassment Circuit City!

Bunny Blockade

2006-06-21T16:53:00.000-04:00

Day 4 - Supplies are running thin. The natives are restless. Except for the potatoes, I have fed all of my vegetables to them, yet still they eye me with their evil stare. I dare not leave. The first to go was the phone, then the power. I am only just able to get this out with a jury-rigged battery I've made out of vinegar, paper clips and the few remaining precious potatoes I have.

There is no escape. They have a patience that defies mortal creatures. They speak to themselves in hushed whispers. I have tried to keep track of the changing of the guard, but they are wiley and blessed with near endless endurance, showing no fatigue, only an insatiable hunger.

I must make my last box of Cheese Nips last. The next to go will be the water supply. I have filled the tub and sinks just in case. Should be enough to last me until I starve to death.

My candle is just a nub. I don't know why no one notices it in my window. The rent is due the first of the month. If only I can hold out a couple more weeks until the landlord comes looking for his check. I hope someone reads this. I hope I am able to get it somewhere before my potatoes give out. I only wish I would have... wait... they're scratching on the door... they're co

Isn't she purdy?

2006-06-14T15:32:00.000-04:00

I think I am in love. She was hand delivered yesterday. She may be a bit heavy, but she has curves in all the right places.I strapped on my gear and took her for her maiden voyage. A grand two-and-a-half mile tour of the neighboring blocks.

There were people out in droves. I didn't realize that 7pm was prime jogging time. Not only on the sidewalks, but it looked like a street fair as I wended my way through the joggers, letting the engine make that cool 'blub-blub-blub' sound.

I really didn't do too much, what with all the people and the mass amount of traffic that sprung from nowhere. It would be my luck to run into a sidewalk or street sign with 50 witnesses that I live right next to. So, I am awaiting this Sunday, in the early morning, when I will take her out again on the clear streets and head to a parking lot for some desperately needed bonding time.

Hopefully I pulled off the "I'm just resting here" look well enough to fool everyone when she mysteriously stalled out on my steep driveway. I'm sure I nailed the "Hmm.. something appears to be amiss with my shiney new bike" as I scratched my head, tried every button, twisted every knob, checked the oil and gas levels of this bright beauty that wouldn't start again. I hope the cop that drove by understands that I was merely testing my ability to push her uphill in the highly unlikely case that I would ever need to do such a thing at some point in the future.

I'm sure everyone realizes that my bike is in my parking spot and my truck is on the street in front of the house not because I can't move the bike over the curb and onto the grass, but rather, that I think such a thing of beauty deserves the parking spot of honor for the time being. Look and marvel at her bright shininess! Be in awe of my masterful recovery as, just this afternoon, I sat on her bountiful seat and, remembering to release the clutch this time, she started up with a lustful growl. She will be mine... oh yes... she will be mine!

Insert Title Here

2006-06-11T18:32:00.000-04:00

Well, I completed my basic motorcycle course today. It was a weekend course and boy is my ass sore. 12 hours on a little 125cc bike. But, I must say that it was worth every penny. I missed one out of 50 on the written test, but pretty well everyone else missed the same question I did, so I don't feel too bad. Got a perfect score on the skills test.

The first day out a girl bit it. Not too hard, but she seemed pretty shaken up. Didn't come back today, which is kind of sad. She was the only one there who said their mom was totally against them getting a license.

One guy was from Portugal, but he looked totally like Latka. We mentioned it at the end and he laughed and said that a lot of people told him that... Who is Latka anyway? Well, we pointed him in the right direction and let him know that if he had been here about 30 years ago, he could have been a star.

On an aside, on my way to class, I stopped at a deli to get a sandwich to take with me for lunch. On the TV there was this show on that was about some guy hunting. It showed him shooting a deer and then dragging it away to where he was going to skin and butcher it. Some old guy who was also in line said, "Turn the channel, I don't want to watch some guy killing deer."

They turned the channel to CNN, where it was showing various reporter footage of shootings in the Middle East. Dead bodies and blood all over the streets. The guy said, "That's better."

WTF?

Fucking Merkley???

2006-05-10T20:35:00.000-04:00

I tried posting this:

Hmm.. are you filtering me? Do you have... like... baleen ass-hairs? Is that possible? Do you "bottom"-feed?

But I get this whenever I try to post to his blog.

Comments on this blog are restricted to team members.

That just sucks... I can't even make stupid wise-cracks that sound entirely lame when taken out-of-context. I love hyphens. I hope I get reborn as one.

Hoppy Easter Weekend!

2006-04-14T21:02:00.000-04:00

One step closer

2006-04-06T11:13:00.000-04:00

So... today it was back to the DMV for my written test. Outside of the testing area they had a sign that said 'Wait in line until Name is called'. So, I assume this means I must register somewhere so that they will know my name.

So, I head on over to the information desk. After waiting in that line for 10 minutes I tell the lady I'm here to take my written and she tells me to get in the line outside the testing area and wait for my name to be called. I asked, "How will they know my name." She said, "They will call NEXT." So... My name became 'Next' for the following 20 minutes while I waited in line.

Entering the testing area (apparently we were *all* called Next) I proceeded to the front desk. The person there askled for my passport. I told her that all I had was my license, but I assured her I had provided at least 10 'Points' last time I was here. She snarled at me, but approved it anyway, letting me know I should bring my passport with me next time I am there. I thanked her and proceeded to the next person.

This person was very friendly and just looked at me, scribbled some stuff on my permit and said, "8" (I guess she could have said, "ate"... but I assumed it was some sort of code number and figured she didn't care whether I had breakfast or not).

Looking around for some sort of number I assumed it must be the number of a terminal. Why, when I am at the DMV, do I feel as if english is not my native language? I can understand how these people get fed up with idiots because even halfway intelligent people have no clue what you're going on about when you speak in mono-syllables.

Well, I found my terminal. It actually had my name on it, so that's cool. The test consisted of 26 questions. Don't know why 26, but that's how many there were, if you exclude the first two which asked me to confirm my name from a list that included 3 others which were in no way mine (though I cheated and picked the only one in lower case), and the second question which asked for my birthdate. Luckily, I have it recorded in my phone calendar.

I only missed 2 questions. Which is really great for me, considering I had to take my Automobile written test 3 times to pass. The first question I missed I feel cool about. I mean, I was totally wrong and I learned from it. However, the second question kind of sucked. It asked how I knew my helmet fit properly. I discounted one right off the bat which left a choice between, "Tight all around" or "Snug all around". I knew I should have picked Snug, that's such a warm and fuzzy adjective. However, I went for tight because... well.. who doesn't like tight? I was wrong. the proper adjective in this case is, indeed, snug.

So, completing and passing, I went back to the person who called me '8' and she wrote some more stuff on my permit and said, "Go to C". Luckily, I saw where 'C' was. She was sitting under a giant orange 'C'. So, I hang there in line for a few minutes. She takes my paperwork and says it needs to be signed and to take it back to 'B'. I return to 'B', who tells me she signed it and to go back to 'C' and tell he rthat. I go back to 'C' and am prepared to just step back and tell them to go at it, but, when I tell her that 'B' told me to tell her that she had signed it, 'C' goes, "Oh" and proceeds to write stuff all over my permit.

So, now I am free to take the motorcycle safety course. Right now, the first available is in June, but some people have told me that I can be on a waiting list and may get in earlier, so we will see. Regardless, this has been quite an adventure. I caught a train again upon leaving. This was a relaly long lumber train. Took a good 15 minutes to be situated, and I actually had a conversation from my car to another car next to me, as we had both left the DMV at the same time and we were recounting tales of Numbers and Alphabets.

I will need to go back 2 more times. once to get my car inspected, and once to get my actual license (assuming I pass the course). I think, once it's all over, I will miss the Newark DMV.

My favorite place

2006-03-29T12:12:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right. It was time for a trip to the DMV. This time though, it was all my fault. I want to get a motorcycle endorsement, so I ran home to grab my passport (because we need 6 "points" worth of identification). I grabbed more documentation, just in case.

I hadn't been there in a long time, so I got on the wrong highway. Took me a while to figure that one out. So I made a U-turn and came back and got on the correct highway... in the wrong direction. I think it's because it is so nice out here.

After figuring that out, and getting on the right highway in the right direction I nearly make it. I say nearly, because a block away from the DMV a train was crossing and backing up... crossing and backing up. If I hadn't known there were tracks there, I would have thought they were trying to parallel park the thing.

Past the train, into the DMV. It was surprisingly empty, I don't know why. I took the opportunity to rush right up and get the little form. I had to borrow a pen from the girl working the information counter. She was very dubious at first, making me sincerely promise that I would return it.

Hmm. On the form they had mailing address and physical address, in case they are different. I keep everything pointed to my PO box. I move too often and there are too many way people that screw up physical addresses. So, I fill it out and go back.

She asks for my '6 points'... "Do you have your 6 points?" ... she even has a little pamphlet entitled "6 Points", in case I don't know what the hell she is talking about.

I hand her my Driver's License and Passport (That's 8 points, BTW... I'm an overacheiver). She looks at them and then asks for a social security card. I tell her I don't have one (having lost the stupid little paper thing to a washing machine incident years ago... one of only 2 documents you need to have your entire life and they make it out of paper...). However, I had brought my W-2... Which, as it clearly states on the DMV web site is valid proof of social security.

She takes my W-2 and then asks, "Do you have a debit card?" I am pondering why on earth she would need my debit card. I have provided her with no less than 10 points, proving who I am almost 2 times more than I need to prove it. I am beginning to doubt my own identity. But, instead of arguing, I just hand over my debit card (keeping a close eye on it). For all I know though, she swiped it on a hidden scanner and I will soon be short several thousands of dollars... time will tell.

So, with that all out of the way, she says, "I need proof of your physical address." Grr... Everything has my PO box... I don't have anything so I have to leave. On the way back I catch the same train... backing up, pulling forward... etc. For about 10 minutes. I make most of the turns on the way back to the office... a mere 2 hours after I left. I am trying to think of something I have that has my physical address on it, the only thing I can think of is my Cable bill.. but they have my address wrong and I have been unable, for months, to get it corrected by them.

Will InnerFonzie be unable to get an endorsement because his Cable company can't get his address right? Will he be able to afford a motorcycle after his bank account is drained?

Hmm... cliffhanger...

Musicmatch Woes

2006-03-28T19:11:00.000-05:00

Musicmatch Jukebox won't run and it won't uninstall. It's annoying as hell. I can't play any of my music. Makes me want to jump up and down... a lot.

Be careful drinking in a bar...

2006-03-26T13:22:00.000-05:00

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission's Carolyn Beck.

Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkeness, Beck said.

The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car.

"We feel that the only way we're going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this," she said.

"There are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they're intoxicated, other than get behind the wheel of a car," Beck said. "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss."

She said the sting operations would continue throughout the state.

I'm back...

2006-03-22T17:31:00.000-05:00

... on so many levels. I think a fresh blog is fitting for a fresh start.

It's your voice I hear...